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A Parents Actions: All season your pre-game speech to your young lacrosse player consisted of one simple phrase: "Do your best." You commit to keeping mum after the game, regardless of his performance. Last week he plays a great game and you were cheerful and chatty while staying faithful to your rule of no "shop talk." This week he played poorly. On the way home you don't bring up the game or anything else. You clutch the steering wheel and silently stare at the road ahead.

The Parent Penaly: Many parents don't understand their own attitudes about winning and losing, observes Joel H. Fish, coauthor of 101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent (Simon & Schuster). "Watching your kid compete is a very emotional experience," he says. "You need to prepare for your spectating emotions." Review your favorite on-the-spot stress-reduction techniques. (The ones that don't involve beer and yelling, that is.)

The Parenting New Move: You have a handle on your feelings, explicitly praise your kid when he plays hard, regardless of the outcome. And watch that body language. When he walks off the field, the first face he'll look for will be yours.